Random Trials
by DethronedLady
Summary: Continuing the randomness... a demon lord tries to figure out whether or not his five captive females are five captive males in drag. One-shot


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Random Trials

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Rating: PG

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Disclaimer: I always wondered why people put these up. I mean… if I was Mineko Ohkami… would I really be posting on ? Under my own category. Well… actually, that does sound like something _I_ would do, but probably not her.

Warning: More randomness. Has nothing to do with plotline, yada yada. I just stuck the characters I like in strange situations. Wee.

The demon master Tigaris surveyed his minions, what they had brought him, then turned back to his minions. It was times like these he really wished he's invested in smarter minions, but damn it, these one's were cheaper.

"What exactly did I ask you to bring me?" He asked sweetly.

One of the demon guards scratched his head. "Five females."  
"Yes. Five females. And what did you bring me."  
"Umm…five females?"

"No. You didn't. You brought me five men in drag!" He threw a fireball across the wall over his minions heads. "Idiots! You can't even tell females from men in dresses!"  
"_Excuse me?!"_ One of the gender confused captives asked. "How rude! Are you calling me male?"

Tigaris looked at the brown haired "girl" with a slash across her face. "Yes. Yes I am."

"How dare you?! That is the _meanest _thing anyone's ever said to me!"

"You're calling us _all_ male?" One of the black haired "girls" asked. "I mean, Thattie's kinda ugly, so I could see why you think _she's_ a man. But I am _way_ prettier then her."

"Raithe!" Her friend said in such a wounded voice. "That's so…so…" large tears fluttered to her eyes.

"Oh, please." The demon master said angrily. "I don't know why you get off in dressing as girls but you don't need to carry on this charade. It's pathetic." It was obvious that those three were wearing wigs. For one thing, the brown haired girl had hers on tilted. And futher, their dresses and halter tops seemed rather pinched.

"But I am a girl!" Thattie exclaimed.

"Oh?" In a quick motion he slashed at her tube top, dragging it down an exposing a very flat chest as rolled up socks dropped to the ground.

The "girl" immediately slammed one arm across her chest to cover herself and brought another hand square his face with a loud SLAP. Then she promptly bust into tears and wails, "It's not my f-fault I'm f-flat ch-chested. M-mm-other always said I'd develop eventually!"

The second black haired "girl" put her arm around Thattie's shoulders and pulled her into her chest. Thattie's muffled sobs and wails could still be heard. The other girl glared accusatorily at the demon master. "Didn't your mother ever tell you to treat girls better! For shame! This is sexual harassment!! Embarassing her like that, how horrible. It's bad enough that she's not that pretty-" Thattie's wails grew louder "but the fact that she stuffs shouldn't be anyone's business but her own!" The other girl patted her friend on the head. "There there, Thattie. Flat girls everywhere know your pain."

"Oh for the love of-" His second in command, Dehara, a very lovely female demon, was growing very impatient. "Stop it! You can't actually think you pass as real girls, do you?"

The first black haired girl, Raithe, flicked her eyes over Dehara's chest in utter contempt. "Frankly, _dear,_ you don't look very 'real' etiher."

"Why you little-" Dehara leapt at the "girl" in fishnets but Tigaris put a restraining hand on her.

"Raithe, don't antagonize our captors." The other black haired girl said worriedly. The two looked a lot like each other, they could almost pass as twins.

"She started it, Hira! That slut thinks she's better then us!"

Tigaris once again restrained his second from killing. "Would you stop-"

"I hardly think you're acting appropriately." Another girl spoke up. This one was actually quite lovely. At least, her hair looked more realistic. If it wasn't for the eye patch and the scars she'd pass as rather feminine. "I mean, what kind of demon master are you? Assuming that we're male. What if we are? Are you going to throw us out? And what if we're not but you throw us out because you assume that we are? Then you just wasted perfectly good… whatever you want with us…"

That was logical. He hadn't thought of that. "But you _are_ male."

"Are you sure? Don't you want to check?"

The voice was so seductive that Tigaris almost blushed slightly.

"Gilla!" The final girl gasped out. "Are you _hitting_ on him? He doesn't even believe you're female!"

Tigaris looked at the last girl and then did a double take. Now, _she _was pretty. She had long beautiful white hair and innocent blue eyes. Not only that, but she was the absolute epitome of feminine grace and elegance. Her dress long and stylish, made of white silk.

"That one looks like a girl, boss." His second in command said doubtfully.

"I know that!" Tigaris snapped. He looked closer at the other girl. Yes. She was definitely female. "What is one lone female doing with a bunch of cross dressing males?"

She sniffed haughtily. "They're just as female as I am! If you're to stupid to believe that then you should just let us go!"

Tigaris rubbed his temples. This was making his head hurt.

"Boss?" Dehara asked. "Can I kill them?"

"No…we'll leave them hear for now… I'm too tired to deal with this now." He motioned for his minions to post guard and retreated to his rooms, thoroughly confused.

As soon as he was out of hearing range "Ruina" slammed "her" fist into the wall. "God damn it! Do I look that much like like a girl?!"  
"Yes." Four other voices chorused.

"Dude, this just proves what I've been saying all along. Slap a dress and some tits on you and you're so a girl." Rath said merrily.

"Man, can you believe that guy?" Thatz rubbed his chest, his crocodile tears long gone. "Talk about sexual abuse."

"You know… the girls aren't going to like this when they find out about it." Gil said conversationally. "They're going to think we think they can't take care of themselves."

"Aww man! Kitchel!" Thatz slammed his forehead. "She IS going to be pissed. This is _her_ tube top."

"Can we go kill them now?" Rath said hopefully.

"Yes." Nohiro put in hopefully, "I don't really want to stay in this dress any longer then I have to."

"I hear that." Rune muttered, removing his handcuffs.

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Five hours earlier in Dragon Castle….

The Dragon Lord looked over his files and looked at the bored teenage males. A small smile quirked his face, but no one would notice. "Well, this is too bad." He said in a worried voice. "It looks like some demon master is planning on capturing five females for a sacrifice for something. I wonder what? I guess I'll have to send someone undercover to breach the castle…"

Thatz yawned. "Stop what you're thinking right there, boss man. We're not female, so we don't have to go."

The Dragon Lord nodded. "True. I guess I'll have to send Kitchel, Tintlet, Cesia, Delte and Pyore."

Four of the males stiffened. The Lord just smiled and walked out the room.

"Kitchel? Kitchel can't fight demons! What's he thinking?!" Thatz said angrily.

"I don't want Tintlet to be in danger like that again." Rune said in a worried tone of voice.

"If anyone's going to be kicking demon butt it's me, not Cesia." Rath said.

"Delte is a faerie…" Nohiro started "And there aren't that many left…"

The four males looked at each other. "Ok! We'll do it!" Thatz said decidedly.

"It's for the best." Rune put in.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Nohiro contributed.

"Demons!" Rath said excitedly.

The four looked at Gil. Gil scratched his head. "Umm… I don't really care about what happens to Pyore… do I still have to go?"

Four hands grabbed him and headed down the hall in order to raid some closets.

Author's Note: Just a few things… I was stuck on the number five, thus why I brought in Nohiro and Gil. And consequently, Delte and Pyore. I figured Nohiro would like Delte because she's a faerie. And she is a faerie goddamnit! She was a faerie in the first four volumes she was in and I have no idea why they keep insisting on calling her the "Lord's human fortuneteller" because she's not!!! Grr.


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